Acceptance is possible

Dee R. James
5 min readDec 4, 2020

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot courage to
change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference”

Photo by Ruthson Zimmerman on Unsplash

The quote above is known as the serenity prayer. Which is
a prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr and composed in 1933.
That prayer is a famous prayer in 12 step programs and other spiritual friendly environments. This 24 word quote speaks power to those that is trying to walk a walk that brings spiritual growth amongst the hysteria, distractions and straight out insanity that keeps bombarding our well beings.

The part about accepting the things (and people which this article is mainly based on) we cannot change is the part that I tend to get the most out of this prayer quote.
Lets be real, there is a lot of folks I wish I can change, like the thinks he knows it all co worker, or arrogant security guard, or racist neighbor, personal wise, that never understanding significant other, and, well you get my point. I hope.

LGBT, Women, African American as well as other nationalities that is known as minority based are so many times judged, with treatments that is of inequity meanings, where up to this day having rights has to be fought so hard to keep while still getting treatments that is discriminated even to a point of belittling fashions. People that still wish to walk with such malice we must try our best to accept.

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.
Maya Angelou

The only thing I wanna change is my underwear

Okay, I know change ain’t easy, many of us wanna just stay who we are and only change our clothes every morning and/or nights. But change is doable and can be emotionally healthy in the long run and even those that may have some kind of resentments towards us, if they see how our change is making impact, they may be more accepting.
Still accepting others that wish not to live up to expectations that is a requirement of our own meanings, principles, and beliefs that be of higher qualities, is a whole different story. so here are 3 things we can do to be more accepting of those we can’t change (though we wish we can):

1. look for the good in them

There are people in my life that when I first met them I said to myself
he or she gonna be a problem. For the most part there are defects that can easily be justified in having harsh judgements towards them.(they are atheist, they smoke too much, drink too much, swear they know it all, self righteous, etc. etc. etc.) Surprisingly there are qualities in these same personalities we may actually relate to as well. There is someone whom I met years ago through a mutual friend that came off so proper and swore up and down he was all that and a bag of popcorn. As time went on and I started hanging with the person and got to know the person beyond our usual environments, surprisingly he had a earthly spirit that built a bond that kept us close till this day. Yes he, like me have skeletons in our closets but it still don’t outweigh the relatable meanings that built this friendship, due to finding goods that is in practically all souls.

Try your best to see anything in that difficult individual you want to change so bad that would actually spark interest in a more reasonable bonding.

2.Listen to what they say (even if they talking a bunch of mess)

I’ve been in contact with many folks that come out the mouth so detrimental that I want to say “yo shut up already” still I make it my duty to listen and try my best to get something out of what they sharing. Yes I am a 12 step member and I have heard a lot of great experiences being shared involving the battle with substance abuse. I also heard some folks share some things in the public space that I felt they being sarcastic, self righteous, preachy, and other ways of speaking that I see as so big headed. Here’s the thing, as time rolled on with experience, that thing that person shared in the past started to come back to mind in a helpful sense. Just for the simple fact I listened, even if I was judgemental, it helped me with an issue I had later on in life that individual boldly shared about in that environment.
Still there are those that just wanna be so right, think they know it all, so “what I say is important and you better not debate it” type of attitude.

That’s where humility comes to play. We just gotta let them air it out and be the ears to take it in who knows that may be what they need to stop them from doing god knows what that’s of detriments.

Photo by Samantha Gades on Unsplash

3. Show aside of you that”s surprising in a healthy sense

Just about all of us humans have different sides of us we choose to show to different people. We will be one way amongst our co workers in the professional world, but the jokester at the cookout. the first two advice was about accepting others but there are things about you (and me) that people need to accept. We should never be guilty about loving who we are, having our own taste, beliefs, and fashions, even if it don’t fit a commercially friendly criteria. That person that judged you at the job as stuck up, arrogant or too introverted and quiet will see you at a job gathering that is of more a social endeavor, and see the earthly side of you which will hopefully give them a sense of, be careful how you judge other breathing souls. I’m sure every human being had that unfair stigma glued to us that make us want to get more superficial just to be more accepting. From experience, we doing more harm than good. Please stay true to you but still accept those you want to recruit to your world of character. Every human being has a gem that only gets shown in the sense of they will accept this though not expected.

“Perhaps the mission of an artist is to interpret beauty to people
the beauty within themselves”
Langston Hughes

Serenity is so important and a must in this madness but beauty is still a thing it just comes with letting go and letting god when we do that we would be amazed in how accepting we be of people, places and things that can be baffling.

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Dee R. James

A spoken word artist, author, entrepreneur A firm believer in having your OWN voice while spreading inspiration to the lonely, lost, hurt and neglected.