“Boy I tell you, my wife gets on my nerves sometimes I just wanna strangle her, of course I wont cause she’s still my queen”.

Those words came out the mouth of a Caucasian man at a self help meeting I am a member of and what’s so ironic the laughters and “ oh Johnny you a trip” that was expressed by other people in this gathering.

Why did I bring up the race of this person that I thought was a little deranged, no not the person being deranged but what he expressed which is putting to death someone he loves due to some type of resentments even if it was more on the sarcastic side.

Me as a African American male who has a way of expressing myself that can be at times on the outspoken side of things, gotta constantly be careful of not only what but how I release my feelings or speak my mind. Yes the stereotype is still in full effect in 2020 when it comes to how specific personalities gets judged. How we either dress, walk, talk, what taste we got whether it be type of sport or type of music we like listening to( yes hip hop being one) plays a big factor on the judgements that will get thrown at us even if it’s unfair.

Personally I try not to get too radical or over the top when I have something to say that’s of my feelings but I won’t bite tongue either, especially if I feel justified in what I expressed.

That’s one of the reasons I started writing poetry ( no poetry ain’t just pretty roses are red violets are blue). A form of writing where I can release feelings that’s glued to my internals that if not released it may cause detrimental actions.

I admired well known African American voices like Amira Baracka, the last poets, Gil Scott Heron, chuck D, NWA, and other voices that wasn’t shy about getting in the mainstream society and having that “ that’s right I said it” aura. But the criticism they got was so judgmental. Articles in magazines, preachers, politicians and other so called powers that be called them angry thugs, uneducated hood rats, and everything else but a child of god.

But there’s hard rock artists that was just as explicit but for the most part there known as just letting out their frustrations. I finally had to learn that this unfair judgement on specific types ain’t gonna go nowhere anytime soon. So yes I’m going to continue writing words on paper that’s of my feel and eventually expose those feelings to the masses.

I’m also going to encourage others that’s of complexion of me to not be hesitant to be vocal with how you feel as long there is sincerity to it.

These are some of the activities we can invest in to help with our growth and maybe find our passion and purpose as well

SPOKEN WORD

This is a underground genre that’s of the voices that don’t go by “this is how you should feel rules”. If you really got something that’s eating you and need to get it out constructively with a taste of creativity then this is a genre for you. Local open mics to showcases or writing meetups that encourages this style without being biased is out there, just gotta know which ones are more accepting to authentic and unapologetic styles of expressions.

SELF HELP MEETINGS

AA( alcoholic anonymous) and NA( narcotics anonymous) are two traditional twelve steps programs that helped millions of people with substance abuse and still do.

Over the years there has been other programs that has somewhat similar principles but a more up to date style to it and focuses on other detrimental type of addictions causing defects of character like gambling addiction, sex addiction, nicotine addiction, junk food addiction, etc. etc.

MEETUPS

Over the last 10 — 15 years there has been thousands of gatherings across the map involving people that’s focused on some type of theme. The theme could be

Being the next bestseller

Running a small business

Dating over 40

And many more.

These are known as meetup groups where a gathering of people sit at a place like community centers, restaurants, churches, or even bars and collaborate on what that meeting is focused on. Many of these gatherings has a specific focus like LGBQs with HIV, or men that was sexually abused or women running businesses, etc. etc. I’ve only been to a handful myself but impressed by the energy and how people with like mindedness can be in one space and collaborate, release tension and be of support.

There’s tons of other gathering type of events (though right now in our own place we need to stay till this deadly epidemic declines) that welcomes all walks of life that can be a big part of not only letting out feelings but building a network that can be a healthy stage to recovering to a bigger purpose. I attended some of these meetups and diversity is a little challenging .

Yes me being an African American male I gotta try to be a voice to those that looks like me that don’t get support or encouragement to thrive on to bigger and better but just get the be silent and when we say jump you say how high type of scolding while good ole billy can talk about strangling someone and get the “ahah billy you’re too much” feedback.

Am I the only one that sees that as a big deal. Hopefully not.

PS

Last time I checked billy hasn’t strangled his wife.