gratitude is challenging but it’s still a must
At the time of this writing, I got an unexpected text from my employer saying that, My contract is terminated effective immediately.
I’ve only worked with that employer for 3 months. The job was a little stress happy and the supervisors were demanding which is understandable cause like any job, we gotta put our best foot forward.
Still, I just couldn’t handle all the details that came with the position and the stress started kicking in quickly. I still planned on working and hopefully improving my end of the position I signed up for at least till spring of 2021.
There’s just things that’s beyond my control
After waking up, showering, dressing in the attire the job requires, walked out the door heading to the bus stop, that’s when I got the text. In other words save the trip.
I about face, walked back to my place in DTLA, got in my room, changed to my street gear, and for about two hours sat and laid down just thinking: why do life has to be like this.
After all I’m making an honest living, I’m not committing crime, I’m not high on drugs, blah blah blah. I feel I have every right to be ungrateful, I have every right to have resentments to the one that sent me the text saying I’m out of a job, especially during one of the most economic crisis of our time. I have a right to grab a liquor bottle and get damn twisted and go out doing something straight out demented and not be held accountable.
Not to mention as an African American male god knows we’ve already been through so much turmoil
Well, I’m here to say, that’s not how it works.
I still have my writes
Back in February of this year I started an LLC publishing company that would focus on literature both fiction and non fiction that deals with the language of inspiration, teaching, and just putting out wisdom that I feel needs to be more exposed to a society that’s pretty much saying “misery should be the new happy.”
Well as soon as I got the paper work from the state of California saying I am now officially a business owner, a pandemic became an uninvited guest.
I was so enthusiastic about being an entrepreneur, about to open a business account, make business cards, start performing (yes I’m a performer as well),
and get ready to finally live that luxury dream that gets so promoted as happy, joyous and free. Just like that, Mr. 45 says everyone must stay home, businesses must shut down, and then disturbing statistics showed how people were dropping left and right to this pandemic including close friends and family. I was still working outdoors in downtown LA(that was before I got the job I was recently terminated from) but the boss made it clear further employment is not promised. In other words, we could get the pink slip any day. Just like that my enthusiasm went straight down to the hell of misery and increasing distress. but guess what I decided to take my pen and paper(then microsoft word) and start putting vocabulary down that deals with my, yes my, one more time, MY feelings, my challenges, my views on the unfortunate turn of events, and all dealing with my experiences, all of these are my writes.
my vision is no longer 2020
I physically have no vision in my left eye due to a childhood incident, so for years I had to depend on just one pupil to guide me physically. I had to take extra care of my right eye so I can keep the independence that requires use of the pupils.
2020 vision is simply a term used to express normal visual acuity measured at a distance of 20 feet
So how coincidental it is I put in the energy to accomplish a goal that involves my creativity in the year of 2020 just for it to have to be put on hold due to circumstances beyond my control. I still have my hands to write, and type words down like how I’m doing involving this article. It was this year I found out about this platform where I can write articles that deals with my feelings and can even get paid for it. Though Ive only wrote a handful of articles, I still feel I am contributing to something that gives a sense of moving on, even through these challenging times. As with my publishing business, I still haven’t moved further with it as of yet(still haven’t opened a business account) but its pretty obvious that it will happen after 2020.
I’m making it my duty to be grateful I have a roof over my head even though its in a notorious part of downtown LA.
I ‘m making it my duty to be grateful I still have food to fulfill my stomach even if I have to depend on the soup kitchen.
I’m making it my duty to be grateful that my lungs can still operate in a year where people are still dying due to this pandemic.
I’m making it my duty to be grateful I can put vocabulary on paper in hopes of uplifting, inspiring, and not hesitant to put out the obstacles that will come with it using these platforms.
No Im not gonna play expert writing a bunch of HOW TO articles or books that will give you happiness by next year.
All I can do is give some kind of hope through my experience that will give greater strength. I got much to be pity about and start creating a donation fund that will assist in my unexpected turn of events where money is about to be real tight, but instead I choose to express gratitude, and then continue walking in the faith that I have in my higher power that will provide on HIS time. Hopefully anyone else in this situation can do the same, we all got a testimony.
